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Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust(转)  

2006-05-27 21:06:19|  分类: 默认分类 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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While there's no clear, fool-proof way to decipher your feelings for someone, there are certain ways to make the distinction between love, lust and infatuation clearer for yourself.

Steps

     Could it be love?

Write down everything that you associate with the person you're feeling strongly about. Example words on your brainstorm list could include love, butterflies, sex, holding hands, annoying snoring, gorgeous, etc.

Circle each attribute with a different color such as red for lust, yellow for infatuation, and green for love.

See which of the three feelings dominates the page. If one doesn't stand out (like if the distribution seems pretty equal), move on to the following steps for more insight.

 

 

Or is it lust?

Read literature and scriptures on the topic. Questions about love are timeless questions that have consumed mankind throughout the ages and are a major theme in many scriptures, tales from mythology, and literature. Read the story of David and Bathsheba from Jewish scriptures, 1st Corinthians from Christian scriptures, the story of Ali and Fatima, Narcissus and Echo, or Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.

Ask your friends or, if you find it easier, ask a complete and utter stranger, so that you get an honest opinion and an outsider's point of view. Tell that person how you feel, and ask them if it sounds primarily like love, infatuation, or lust.

Or something in between?

Watch a movie that relates to your situation like "Cruel Intentions" (which is about lust, and wanting what you can't have), "Down to You" (which is about love and leaving it all down to the other person), "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" (which is about none of them really but it's about making a mistake and putting it right), "The Phantom of the Opera" (which is about both lust and infatuation) and, finally, "Titanic" (which is about holding on to someone forever until you die - that is love - bittersweet love). Yet understand, that movies are fiction that depict idealized rather than realistic love.

Tips

  • Keep in mind that in most relationships, you're feeling all three (love, infatuation, and lust) all at once, to some degree.
  • Sometimes the person that you love isn't always the person that you want.
  • To help you make tough decisions about your relationship, ask someone you trust who has lots of experience with the kind of relationship you want for yourself. For example: Say you want to be happily married to one person for life. If your parents have both been bitterly divorced three times, then they are probably not the ones to talk to. On the other hand, if they are about to celebrate their 50th anniversary of bliss together, then they may be ideal to learn from.
  • Lasting relationships are the those that are built on love - not infatuation or lust. Imagine the person you love in 50 years when they are old and fat. Would that change how you feel about them? If yes, then what you feel now is most likely lust/infatuation - not love.
  • Friendship should also weigh into your decision to commit. In 50 years, if you don't genuinely LIKE your mate, you're going to be miserable.


Warnings

If you're not sure about your feelings or your relationship, take things slowly. Spend time apart and see how you are feeling while you are away. Do you miss the person? Or are you more attracted to others when you are apart?

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